Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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