This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
