chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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