Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
