So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
