dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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