he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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