She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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