Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
