i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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