i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
