OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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