My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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