with your own penis?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
