I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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