found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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