dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
