I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
