You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
there is glitter all over my balls
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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