You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
