Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
