he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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