fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
pray to the hookup gods
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
