We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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