She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
