Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
