sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
