i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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