I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
