At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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