I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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