It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Randomize
