Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
