you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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