stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
