I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
