Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
