if only i could text you this smell
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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