why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
