Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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