weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
