I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
