I think I am morally bankrupt
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
