so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
