Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
