I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
