There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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