It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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