1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
