All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
